Six Inspirational Sayings I've Yet to Find on the Side of a Box of Tea
By Dan Kennedy
When life is seen to flow slowly, like a deep river content in its path, the journey is a certain pleasure. But, God damn it, life's not always a big party, now, is it? And there's something deeply wrong with your constant tendency to push love away from you so you can spend months on end in total isolation. Plain and simple, if you see an animal doing that in the wild, there's something wrong with that animal. Lighten up before you ruin everything again. Enjoying a delicious cup of our green tea with lemongrass is a start, but I'm serious: deal with life and be a man.
When birds migrate south to warmer climes, there is no uncertainty within the flock as to why they're undertaking the journey. But some people (ahem) start and stop a journey so many times they begin to make themselves and everyone around them feel weary and forsaken. Honestly, we're talking about day-to-day goddamn life. It's a gift, by the way, genius. And it starts with a cup of our warm English Breakfast blend. So have a cup, but I swear to Christ above, just relax for 10 seconds about love and death and the rest of what you go crazy with. Maybe you're right; maybe you've lived in New York too long.
Ah, back to Montana for another week of what? Clarity? Is that what this is supposed to be about? Do you honestly think this system of yours is working? Every time life deals you a fair-to-middling result or a hard-to-face reality, you just run off to Montana or Colorado? And to do what? Mainly, to sit and drink tea and listen to mostly forgotten alternative rock music and some bluegrass on the satellite radio? This counts as facing life and making the decisions we all have to make? Impressive that you've got the routine so well oiled as to pick up a box of our Earl Grey tea at the organic co-op in Bozeman after you get off the plane. But seriously, haven't you had enough of this, this living like a neurotic, passive-aggressive glory fiend? Tommy Stinson was right when he said it's not too much to live up to.
Boo! Ha ha, look at you! That's all it takes, isn't it?
When a warrior is called to battle, his mood is somber. When he is hailed in victory, his mood is somber. Hello? I'm kidding. He's anything but somber, isn't he? That's the point, really ... feel something. Feel something instead of the running toward numbness. The numb, stoic, and terrified are constantly misread as quietly confident. So is the warrior, though. Yet he's alive with feeling, whether it's fear of impending battle or gratitude for his victory. Is any of this sinking in? OK, enjoy this cup of our Herbal Hibiscus Citrus Delight, but when you're finished sipping it, start living, for crying out loud.
She was right
this time. Again.
I'M A LITTLE
You are not typically a "wallflower." In social settings, you often make valuable contributions to discussions. Others appreciate how your inappropriate comments give them a feeling of solidarity with one another.
People who do not know you well sometimes consider you "aloof" until they realize you are simply boring.
Your conduct and achievements are instructive to others. Parents tend to point to you as an example when cautioning their children.
You move through life confidently, seldom allowing errors or slip-ups to cramp your style. But when you broke the lid of that ceramic thing at Pottery Barn last week and just walked away, the guy working there totally saw you.
You have an optimistic "glass-half-filled" outlook on life. This often causes you moments of humiliation before attractive barmaids merely seeking a good tip.
You don't like leaving things half finished, preferring instead to see Full House episodes through to completion before taking on something else.
You prefer to handle disagreements with others by breaking down into sobs until they edge away, embarrassed that a grown male would act like that.
You tend to be drawn to women who look vaguely like Anita Halloran from junior high. Unfortunately, unlike Anita, none of them are going to go out with you as part of a dare from their friends.
Your ideal mate will be someone who appreciates your youthful salary and relaxed, easygoing approach to hygiene.
People secretly mock the pretentious way you pronounce "penchant."
You sometimes run like a girl when you're jogging.
You're going to die on August 7, 2038.
As I Walked
Out One Evening
by the brimming river
love you, dear, I'll love you
love you till the ocean
years shall run like rabbits,
But all the
clocks in the city
the burrows of the Nightmare
headaches and in worry
many a green valley
your hands in water,
glacier knocks in the cupboard,
the beggars raffle the banknotes
look in the mirror?
stand at the window
It was late,
late in the evening,